COMMUNICATION DEFINED

The act or process of using words, sounds, symbols, signs, or behaviors to express or exchange information or to express your ideas, thoughts, feelings, etc., to someone else through a common system also by using technology.

Proverbs 18:21  

Death and life are in the power of the tongue, and those who love it will eat its fruits.

Matthew 12:37 

For by your words you will be justified, and by your words you will be condemned.”

RELATIONSHIP DEFINED

The way in which two or more people, groups, countries, etc., talk to, behave toward, and deal with each other.

Insert Cordial and Combustive Relationship picture here

COMMUNICATION IN RELATIONSHIP AT CREATION

Relationship and communication are inseparable conjoined, Siamese Twins.

From creation, communication took place between God and other spiritual beings, God and created man, and between created woman and the Serpent, Satan.

Genesis 1:26-28

Then God said, “Let Us make man in Our image, according to Our likeness; let them have dominion over the fish of the sea, over the birds of the air, and over the cattle, over ^[g]all the earth and over every creeping thing that creeps on the earth.” ²⁷ So God created man in His own image; in the image of God He created him; male and female He created them. ²⁸ Then God blessed them, and God said to them, “Be fruitful and multiply; fill the earth and subdue it; have dominion over the fish of the sea, over the birds of the air, and over every living thing that ^[h]moves on the earth.”

Genesis 2:24 - Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and be^[k] joined to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.

Eve/Satan Communication  Genesis 3: 1-4

EFFECTIVE COMMUNICATION – THE COMMUNICATION PROCESS

MOSES INELOQUENCE

Exodus 4:10-16:

DIFFERENT KINDS OF RELATIONSHIPS

 

Family Relationships:

Relationship with older people elongates the life a youth

Ephesians 6:1-3 - … so that it may be well with you and you may live long on earth” 

Friendly Relationships

Relations that we share with our friends, peers, fellow workers, and other acquaintances are termed as friendly relationships. 

Matthew 18:3 – “Truly I tell you unless you change and become like little children you will never enter the kingdom of heaven”

Romantic Relationships

A romantic relationship is the most beautiful and rewarding yet complex relationship that one can indulge in. 

Association/Professional/Club/Village Meeting Relationship

Ecclesiastic Relationship:

Provoke one another unto good works (Hebrew 10:24)

Condescend to men of low estate (Romans 12:16 KJV)

Do not esteem yourself more than others (Philippians 2:3)

Pet Relationships

(Leviticus 18:23; 20:15-16)

 

INTERPERSONAL COMMUNICATION/RELATIONSHIPS

Interpersonal communication is the process by which people exchange information through verbal and nonverbal messages. It is how you connect with someone else—the way you communicate with them or understand them, and vice versa.

MEANS OF COMMUNICATION IN RELATIONSHIP

• Verbal Communication
• Non-Verbal Communication (visuals; dressing to Church to show off; wife dressing@night; winking; hissing; snapping of the finger)
• Written Communication
• Visual Communication
• Various Cultural and Intercultural Modes of Communication

COMMUNICATION TOOLS

INTERPERSONAL COMMUNICATION SKILLS

Relationship Management is all about your interpersonal communication skills. It’s all about your ability to:

• get the best out of others
• inspire and influence them,
• communicate and build bonds with them,
• help them change, grow, develop, and resolve conflict.

CHARACTERISTICS OF A GOOD INTERPERSONAL RELATIONSHIP:

Interdependence

Proverbs 27:17  Iron sharpens iron, and one man sharpens another. 1 Thessalonians 5:11  

Therefore encourage one another and build one another up, just as you are doing.

Conflict Resolution:

Matthew 18:15-18

 

Accountability: own up to your mistakes and be accountable for your decisions. Taking responsibilities for actions and inactions

 

Respect

Titus 3:2  “To speak evil of no one, to avoid quarreling, to be gentle, and to show perfect courtesy toward all people.” 

 

Trust

Ephesians 4:25 

“Therefore, having put away falsehood, let each one of you speak the truth with his neighbor, for we are members one of another.”

Credibility

You must aspire to be known for your efficiency and become a valuable person.

Reliability

For someone to depend on you.

Openness

It’s important to be approachable and friendly

Level Of Self-Orientation

Love your neighbor like yourself Matthew 22:34-40

Philippians 2:3-4  

“Do nothing from rivalry or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves. Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others.”

COMMUNICATION DYNAMISM

 

Communication is dynamic

(Provoking children to wrath Ephesians 6:4)

As one can easily observe that as relationships change, so does the communication.

 

 

COMMUNICATING CLEARLY IN A RELATIONSHIP

No sweeping assumptions. You cannot read your partner’s mind.
People have different communication needs and styles.

When you communicate in your relationships, try to:

• set aside time to talk without interruption from other people or distractions like phones, computers or television
• think about what you want to say;

Proverbs 15:28  

The heart of the righteous ponders how to answer, but the mouth of the wicked pours out evil things.

• be clear about what you want to communicate
• make your message clear, so that you’re the other person(s) hears it accurately and understands what you mean
• talk about what is happening and how it affects you
• talk about what you want, need and feel – use ‘I’ statements such as ‘I need’, ‘I want’ and ‘I feel’
• accept responsibility for your own feelings

Proverbs 12:18  

There is one whose rash words are like sword thrusts, but the tongue of the wise brings healing.

• listen to the other person. Put aside your own thoughts for the time being and try to understand his/her intentions, feelings, needs and wants (this is called empathy)
• share positive feelings with the other person, such as what you appreciate and admire about them, and how important they are to you
• be aware of your tone of voice
• negotiate and remember that you don’t have to be right all the time. If the issue you are having is not that important, try to let the issue go, or agree to disagree.

LISTENING AND COMMUNICATION 

James 1:19-20  

Know this, my beloved brothers: let every person be quick to hear, slow to speak, slow to anger; for the anger of man does not produce the righteousness of God.

Proverbs 29:20 

Do you see a man who is hasty in his words? There is more hope for a fool than for him.

Listening is a very important part of effective communication. A good listener can encourage others to talk openly and honestly. Tips for good listening include:

• keep comfortable eye contact (where culturally appropriate)
• lean towards the other person and make gestures to show interest and concern
• have an open, non-defensive, fairly relaxed posture with your arms and legs uncrossed

Proverbs 20:3

It is an honor for a man to keep aloof from strife, but every fool will be quarreling.

• face the other person – don’t sit or stand sideways.

3 John 1:13-14 “I had much to write to you, but I would rather not write with pen and ink. I hope to see you soon, and we will talk face to face”.

• sit or stand on the same level to avoid looking up to or down on the other person
• avoid distracting gestures such as fidgeting with a pen, glancing at papers, or tapping your feet or fingers
• be aware that physical barriers, noise or interruptions will make good communication difficult. Mute telephones or other communication devices to ensure you are really listening
• let the other person speak without interruption Proverbs 10:19 “When words are many, transgression is not lacking, but whoever restrains his lips is prudent.”
• show genuine attention and interest
• use assertive statements like ‘I feel …. about …’, ‘What I need is …’
• be aware of your tone.

Proverbs 15:1 A soft answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.

• be prepared to take time out if you are feeling really angry about something. It might be better to calm down before you address the issue. Take option E: “Walk Away”

Proverbs 12:16 “The vexation of a fool is known at once, but the prudent ignores an insult.”

• ask for feedback on your listening from the other person.

IMPROVING COMMUNICATION IN A RELATIONSHIP

Open and clear communication can be learnt. Some people find it hard to talk and may need time and encouragement to express their views. These people may be good listeners, or they may be people whose actions speak louder than their words.

You can help to improve your communication by:

Building companionship

Ephesians 4:29 

“Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear.”

To improve the way you communicate, start by asking questions such as:

• What things cause conflict between you and the other person(s)? Are they because you are not listening to each other?
• What things bring you happiness and feelings of connection?
• What things cause you disappointment and pain?
• What things don’t you talk about and what stops you talking about them?
• How would you like your communication with your partner to be different?

Some things are difficult to communicate. Some are extroverts and some are introverts.

Tips for how to manage conflict with communication include:

• Avoid using the silent treatment.
• Don’t jump to conclusions. Find out all the facts rather than guessing at motives.

Proverbs 18:17 

The one who states his case first seems right, until the other comes and examines him.

• Discuss what actually happened. Don’t judge.
• Learn to understand each other, not to defeat each other. Proverbs 18:2  “A fool takes no pleasure in understanding, but only in expressing his opinion.”
• Talk using the future and present tense, not the past tense.
• Concentrate on the major problem, and don’t get distracted by other minor problems.
• Talk about the problems that hurt you or the other person’s feelings, then move on to problems about differences in opinions.
• Use ‘I feel’ statements, not ‘You are’ statements.

CONCLUSION

 

Romans 14:19 

So then let us pursue what makes for peace and for mutual up building.

Colossians 4:6 

Let your speech always be gracious, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how you ought to answer each person.